I met up with a friend recently! I recognized her right away, even though it had been a little while since we last met. She looked tired, even a little haggered - but then again that's what 'aging' does to ya, right?! We sat and had coffee and reminisced about the good 'ole 'younger' days, when life seemed simpler...sweeter even.
You know, thinking about it, I suppose you would have to define the word 'friend' as to whether or not she should be called this. I think I would prefer to refer to her as more of an acquaintance in my life, cause a friend is typically an individual whom I would get excited to spend time with; I can't say that I care to spend any time at all with her- but nevertheless, she continues to hang around with no real hope of departure from my life! ugh...like a bad stain on a new t-shirt.
Truth be told, she's actually quite a bitch! Yep, I did indeed use the 'b' word and have no regret or remorse for doing so (said with my nose held high in the air). She deserves this title and I would tell it to her face...if I wasn't so highly affected by her ways. When she's around she has the power to occupy all of your time, space, energy - she's a LIFE SUCKER! Y'all know what I mean.
Why just the other day she lunged and struck out taking all in her pathway hostage never once considering the damage in her path; all the while out for total annihilation and control, not once looking back to consider her causalities. I mean seriously, she did not care - not care a single bit that she left many wading in the wake of her storm... the nerve of some people - sheesh! Do not be fooled! After this whirlwind of utter and complete chaos, it's as though I found her standing on the street corner with a cigarette in her hand - flashing me that snarky look of 'what's your problem?!'.
Well listen here ~ I will tell you what my problem is!!!
She's mean... and - and rude and - and inconsiderate, yes that's right inconsiderate and quite honestly, I hate her! Yep I really, really do. And for the record, I would shout it from the rooftops, I hate you Menopause!
You know what sister?! You can take your cute little acronym PMS or whatever you wanna call yourself and shove it where the sun don't shine.
You and your good-for-nothing night sweats leaving me soaked to the core and shivering on a chilly night. You and your annoying swinging pendulum of moods ~ yeah you think you are so cute...la, la, la...swinging from tears at the sound of a raindrop to feeling on top of Kilimanjaro back down to I'm gonna kill YOUR man-jar-o. Or how about you waking me up out of a perfectly good sleep only to leave me lying there bug-eyed and vexed because the zzzz's have bugged out like a cock-roach in a well-lit room. For the record, I shed enough hair to outfit Abigail's American Girl doll with an alternate wig for the winter. Trust me...I could go on!
You have the complete power to take a perfectly kind and gentle woman hostage turning her into something that resembles a cross between a horror and alien invasion movie. Why just the other day I literally lopped off my hubby's head and sat there gnawing on the open flesh like a lion who'd just conquered her prey...ALL because he chose a parking spot 4 spaces away from the door! I mean seriously, how could he?! Didn't he even know?!
Who am I?? This is not me, I promise. It's almost like I am sitting on the other side of the one-way glass with a large bag of Pirate's booty and a tall iced latte watching the madness unfold before my eyes. I'm cranky. I'm grumpy. I'm irritable about the littlest of things. I cry - well quite frankly because I can, dammit! Do not take me to the mall this holiday season as I'm likely to go postal on whomever gets in my way. I ache. I'm completely indecisive. I can actually see, know and understand that I am completely irrational these days and don't seem to have the power to get in front of it, Lord help me!
God have mercy on my body, mind and spirit as well as my poor family, for they are the innocent victims (well most of the time ;-) )!!
And to all of my sweet friends ~ should I encounter you in a "state" that does not exemplify my best qualities, please know that I'm sorry, I love you dearly and thank you for the grace you extend.
I hope to be back soon, real soon. Maybe if I think of this as some sort of vacation, yeah that's it, a vacation! A sick and twisted torturous vacation where I'm not even likely to get a dumb t-shirt out of the deal, but clearly a pause or break in the normalcy of ME ~ then maybe just maybe I might survive this so-called chapter in my book.
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